Good Luck

Did you ever wonder why people say it’s good luck for it to rain on your wedding day? Or when a bird poops on you? Or when you step in shit?  It’s because they’re trying to make you feel better.  There’s really no luck involved at all.  You were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time if any of those things happened to you.

Last week, I took my girls to a local farm with a friend of mine and her two daughters (same ages as mine).  My big girl and her little one weren’t afraid of anything there.  They happily fed the animals together, getting right up to the goats, deer, and other dried-corn loving creatures.  My little girl and the other big girl were pretty freaked by the whole thing.  I don’t blame them.  I am totally grossed out by these animals, too.

However, in my endless effort to make my girls less fearful and neurotic than I am, I marched right up to the llamas and held out my hand for the goofy looking bastards to come and get ’em!  Batting weirdly long lashes at me from under her fluffy, snow white fur, the llama ate from my hand.  Yuck!  But I smiled at the girls like, “Yeah, Mommy’s got this.  No biggie.”  Then I turned back to the llama and as if to say thank you, it spit right in my face.

After the initial shock wore off, I tried to remain calm so that my little one and my friend’s big girl didn’t freak out and start crying.  All I could do was laugh… that is until I breathed in.  Holy crap, the smell was worse than anything I’ve ever smelled (keep in mind, I’ve changed diapers continuously for the past four years and have been thrown up on more times than I can count).  In my head, I always thought that llamas and camels spit in the same fashion as tobacco chewers, like one big gulp into a pot in the corner (DING!).  No such luck, it’s more of a full coverage spray action.  My husband is so sad that he missed this moment (I’m sad no one caught it on camera, it would have gone viral… now instead, I’m stuck worrying that I’m going to get a virus).

It definitely wasn’t the greatest moment in my life, but imagine my surprise when someone told me today that they heard it was good luck when a llama spits in your face.  I’m pretty sure (like every other “good luck” scenario) that she was just trying to make me feel better.  I’m not running out to buy lotto tickets, but maybe I’ll pretend that the good luck is going to stay with me through next week’s surgery, at least.

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