Postponed

Yesterday, I had my pre-op appointment for my next surgery (the lipo/fat transfer/new nipple surgery).  I had figured this one would be the easiest and hadn’t mentally prepared myself for anything other than a breeze.  I guess I was wrong.  Although I just want to be done with all of this already (ugh, it feels like this process has just been dragging on and on at this point) and after much deliberation, I decided to postpone this next step until the Fall.
I was supposed to go under next Wednesday and I couldn’t wait to be done.  No more ripples in my boobs, no more extra fat in my thighs, no more baggy spots in the middle of my bra cups.  What I didn’t realize was that I’d have to wear compression undergarments on my legs 24/7 for the first two weeks and that I’d have to wear them 12-18 hours a day for the following few weeks, etc.  In the middle of summer when the big girl is finally making such great progress swimming on her own, the inability to be in a bathing suit would really put a damper on our pool and practice time.  We also have a vacation planned which I’d prefer not to be in compression hose in 90 degree heat nor do I want to be bruised and discolored in my bathing suit as well.  As I was trying to decide today how to make this decision, my great friend said, “You’ve been through enough, enjoy your summer.  This is no longer about health and getting rid of something dangerous inside of you. It’s cosmetic and you have the luxury to choose your timing.”  How wise she is.
While I feel a pang of guilt (as always), because I don’t want to change this for everyone who has had it penciled in on their calendars (my doctor, his staff, my parents who will watch the girls, etc), I think everyone will be much better off when I do this later. In the Fall (after the girls have adjusted to their school schedules), I will be able to wear pants over my compression garments and sweaters over my “National Geographic sized nipples” (direct quote from my surgeon).  For the first week post-op, I can’t wear anything to cover them. Of course, each week they will reduce in size until they’re just a little candy dot in size, but for the first six weeks or so they’ll be abnormally large.  The turkey’s done has nothing on what I’m going to experience.  Best not to scare the children at the pool with FemmeBot-like knockers.

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