Waiting to Exhale

I’ve always thought that Waiting to Exhale was a pretty dumb title for a movie. I mean, don’t we exhale every time we inhale?  Isn’t that the mechanics of breathing? Something so natural and automatic. I never understood what it meant until the other day when the little one’s surgery was over. 

It didn’t take long for her to bounce back from the trauma of anesthesia. I think it took me longer to put it all behind us, but then again, it always does. I won’t regale you again with my trips to the seventh layer of hell (the area of the surgery center where the babies come to from anesthesia), I will only say that they all cry as one and seem to join in with each other as their wails reach crescendo in the most excruciating symphony. The procedure for getting tubes in the ears is a simple and quick one (it was only 8 minutes from the time I let the nurse take her away from us until the surgeon came out and said it was done and she did great), the little one recovered so much faster than the big one did last year when she had tubes in and adenoid out (a more involved and invasive procedure that makes recovery much more painful). Thankfully it is now behind us and as she fell asleep in my arms that night, she wasn’t in pain and I felt an enormous sense of relief. 
I understood what it meant. I had been holding my breath for so long in anticipation of that day. The anxiety of the unknown is never something I can easily manage. I suppose that’s fairly obvious, considering the double mastectomy. I’m grateful that this ordeal is behind us, that my little one did so well and is already back to herself, and that hopefully she has the best chance to be ear infection free, antibiotic free, pain free… Just free. 
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