The torment of the gray area.  Indeed, the little one’s ENT appointment went exactly as I had predicted. Her ears looked normal yesterday, but her history is compelling.  So the surgeon left it up to us to decide if she should get tubes.  He even has an appointment available next week, which is perfectly timed. There’s ample time for her to recover before I have my next surgery in June.
We faced this same situation with the big girl last summer when deciding whether or not to do her surgery.  Of course, we opted to go forth and she hasn’t had an ear infection since, she has barely gotten sick (knock on wood), and she actually sleeps through the night!  All of that makes us think doing tubes for the little one will be a positive thing.  Enter Mom guilt and doubt.
It seems with parenting there is never a definitive answer.  If I look left, will she fall and hurt herself?  If I don’t look left, will she be fine?  There’s no telling and it drives me crazy.  All signs point to surgery.  My husband says, “Yes, book it!”  So, next week, my baby goes under the knife.  The thought immediately sends my stomach to my throat.
Rationality, fleeting as always, tells me to calm down.  As the ENT said yesterday, “Driving here was more of a risk than what she faces in the OR for tubes.”  Since she is under two years old, she won’t have her adenoid removed just yet.  I suppose that will be a wait and see situation where we monitor the success of the tubes and determine if that’s necessary at a later date.  We don’t know if it was the tubes or the adenoidectomy that really made all the difference for the big girl, so it’s hard to say if tubes will be the answer for the little one, too.
Obviously it’s not the reason we went down this path, but I feel selfish like I’m almost doing this to her so that I have the possibility of sleeping through the night, too.  As everyone around me has reassured me, it’s not just for me.  She needs the sleep, too.  How can she develop if she’s not rested?  I know that I barely function, so what’s it like for her at such a crucial age in her growth?  Furthermore, the five courses of antibiotics she’s had over the last few months is not beneficial either.  Since the big girl’s procedure last year, she hasn’t needed an antibiotic once.  The little one shouldn’t be on them all the time.  The surgeon said, “If she gets another infection within the next six weeks, it would be more definitive that she needs tubes.”  So why wait for what is probably inevitable?  Here we go again.

One thought on “Encore

  1. This is a vein and vascular center that has multiple locations. They are located in near PHOENIX, ARIZONA, USA. Office locations are, Surprise, Arizona, USA, – Goodyear, Arizona USA, Chandler, Arizona USA and Gilbert , Arizona USA. These cities surround Phoenix, so we want to focus on each city and about a 20 mile radius around each one as well as Phoenix itself since it is in the center of all these cities.

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