Swan

Usually I’m not a fan of looking in the mirror. I can go an entire day realizing I haven’t looked since I put my mascara on at 8am. It is not a good thing. Not for me, not for the people looking at me. It’s not that I don’t care how I look, I just forget or get distracted or maybe I’m avoiding my reflection. Well by the end of the day when I go to wash my face, I almost jump back in horror at the plain sight of myself.
Lately though, I’m very interested in taking in my current appearance, specifically of course, my boobs. I’ve never been thrilled with their general appearance au naturel. And things certainly haven’t improved after breast feeding. But as with anything you’re about to lose, I’ve gained a new appreciation. Fortunately though, I’m still more excited to have perky new ones than these old saggy ones (even if it will come with lots of emotional baggage and no nipples for a while). I do want to make it clear to my surgeon that although I don’t love the space from my collarbone to my nipple being roughly the distance between Maine and Key West, I also don’t want the new boobs touching my chin.
There’s a reason why it’s easy for ballerinas to look like graceful birds when performing Swan Lake. The long, thin neck, the open chest spreading out to create the illusion of wings with delicate arm movements. Most former dancers try to hold onto some aspect of their glory years as a ballerina once age or injury has taken its toll. I would like to hold onto the same.
My collarbones are my favorite feature. I feel they give me a grace and an appearance of thinness even when I’m neither. Hopefully they won’t be compromised with the implants placed higher than I’ve had boobs up there in the past 15 years.

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