Bumpy and Bouncy

I’m not sure if the big girl is picking up on all the talk about my surgery or if 3 is the age of body part comparison and identification. Maybe both, but it seems that lately she has been commenting on boobs, a lot. She often lifts her shirt up and asks, “these are my boobies?”. Is she waiting for confirmation because hers look so much different than mine? She wore a bikini to the pool recently and after saying she had a little belly, she nonchalantly told me I had a big belly in my bikini. Thanks a lot kid, you had a little part in that, ya know?
That didn’t bother me really, but when she patted my boobs yesterday and told me that they were “bumpy and bouncy”, my only reply was “for now”. Luckily she didn’t question my response, because, admittedly, it wasn’t a wise or thoughtful answer.
I am definitely concerned about the way I’m going to feel to them when we embrace or cuddle. As the little one fell asleep snuggling me today, I thought I’m just like a pillow. Since the implants will go underneath my pectoral muscles and they aren’t doughy like my natural breasts, I’m worried that the flatter, harder breasts won’t be the soft cushion my daughters need to lean on when they want to be comforted. Now I’m a down variety pillow, but soon I imagine I will be more like a tempurpedic. I hate those foam things. I wonder if their little side profiles will leave an impression on my boobs after they nap on me?

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