Walking Tall

My little one is on the move. It’s yet another thing that makes my kids unique and so unlike each other, even at their young ages. My big girl never really crawled. She wanted to walk while holding hands in the most back-breaking bent over position for about five months. She walked on her own just before she was 14 months. Not so for the baby. She started officially crawling when we returned from our first weekend away.
Fast forward a mere three weeks, she’s pulling herself up to stand in her crib and her playpen and all over the person sitting closest to her. She’s even started inching along the rails of her crib. Hooray for Little One!
Except that was one of two main criteria for holding off on my surgery until late September. I wanted to wait until she was walking and until the big one had started school and got acclimated to her new environment.
So now that I see one check being marked off very soon, I begin to get cold feet. Yes, of course, I’m going to have the double mastectomy as planned, but isn’t it normal for me to have second thoughts and maybe fantasies about chickening out? However, especially during bathing suit season, I’m also fantasizing about my beach bod for next summer. A new perky pair with cute bikini tops. And then I just run away with myself and imagine my plastic surgeon whisking me onto an operating table with an intense expression in his eyes as he says, “I’m going to do a little lipo on your thighs, too”. Yes! A girl can dream.

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