Of course my big girl has been obsessed with boobs lately. I think it’s due to the change in weather. It’s pool season which means I’m frequently wearing a bathing suit. Particularly when I’m suspending her over the potty, trying to have her hold on to my shoulders instead of touching anything in the public bathrooms, she’s at direct eye level with my boobs. She’s like the grandmother in Sixteen Candles; taking the liberty to grope away. As long as she’s not coming into contact with the drippy, ebola-ridden surfaces around her, I’m cool. Then it’s time for a 3 year old anatomy lesson. “Mommy, these are your boobies? These are mine, and here are my ribs and this is my belly…” and so on.
I’m not bothered by her wandering hands, I mean she was attached to them for over a year of her life and she’s at least half responsible for their current shape and appearance. What does get to me is my constant inner monologue of questions; what to tell her about my surgery. I don’t know if it’s best to prepare her with just the basics ahead of time or if it’s better to keep her in the dark and then let her ask me questions after the fact. I keep wondering what is the most effective way to present information to 3 year olds?
She loves a book called “No, David”. It illustrates lessons about a little boy misbehaving and at the end shows his mother’s embrace. Even though he’s naughty, she still loves him. We are constantly telling her “No, David” as a gentle reminder that she needs to cease and desist whatever illegal activity she’s in the midst of. So maybe a simple children’s book is the best way to illustrate what she’s about to see? I missed the double mastectomy section in the kids area of Barnes and Noble. Perhaps Harper Collins would be interested in this?
Some boobies are like cantaloupes
Others are like torpedoes.
Some are just mosquito bites
And more are in between those.
Some boobies start off really big
And then get really small,
Then they grow and grow some more
And feel like tennis balls.
Now whisper, whisper, tippy toe
While Mommy gets her rest.
Soon she’ll get to play again
‘Cause Mommy loves you best!
For the millionth time in the past three years, I think a degree in child psychology would have served me better than the degree I got in computer engineering.