Monkey See, Monkey Do

My daughter is a mimic. I have to watch my language all the time, you wouldn’t believe the tirade of expletives that are coursing through my mind at any given time. Well, if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, maybe you can. It’s hard for me to stop myself from swearing knowing that she is a little sponge who picks up on the tiniest droplet of linguistic nuance. When she first started talking in sentences, she would pause every few words and say, “but…ummm…”. It was pretty adorable. I kept wondering where that was coming from until I was talking one day and caught myself saying those same two words every time I needed a pause in my speech. So it shouldn’t surprise me that she is copying whatever her friends are doing.
My concern is, of course, that she is not stopping to think for herself about whether her actions are right or wrong. For example, at a playdate today, her friend picked up a decorative object. My little one did the same, they both walked to the edge of the stairs and raised their objects up over their heads. The friend smashed hers to smithereens on the staircase while I gasped. I could see the wheels turning in my little copycat’s head as I said, “do NOT throw that, don’t even think about it (insert name with middle and last for maximum effect)”! Obviously, I had no effect on her and the desire to be like her peer far outweighed her desire to obey me. Smash!
Red flag! Is this a preview of adolescence? God, I hope not. How do I get her to think for herself? To have the confidence to do her own thing, the right thing? To use her own creativity to do things differently?
I’ve been thinking about these new implants for my reconstruction that use gel instead of silicone or scalene. They are supposed to feel and look more natural and although they’ve been on the market for many many years, they aren’t FDA approved. Of course that worries me, but is it enough for me not to explore the option? I need to do my own research, form my own independent thought to really decide what I want. I don’t want to let anyone choose what’s right for me.
This is what I want my toddler to learn in life. She doesn’t have to follow what her peers do. She doesn’t have to throw and smash something to have fun with her friends. It can still be fun playing on your own terms until you poop in your pants and step in shit. Yeah, that’s how that awesome playdate ended today.

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One thought on “Monkey See, Monkey Do

  1. Eye eye! Little one is testing boundaries. It's a constant battle to get a strong willed child to obey. Hang in there J. a.d just be glad YOU didn't step in “it ” too. OY! Xo

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