Silent Auction

We went to an event for our daughter’s new preschool over the weekend. It’s an annual fundraiser and as incoming parents we didn’t know anyone there. Everyone else appeared to have already been lifelong best friends. So we had a few drinks, checked out the venue, and the silent auction items. There must have been at least 60 different things. We figured we should put our names down here and there to show our support but pray to God we didn’t win anything and have to pony up (there might have been an actual pony for sale). A few more drinks later, we (and by we, I mean me, because I can’t handle my liquor) were playing fast and loose. Not that I wanted to win, but I also thought, “ok, we haven’t actually bid up to the actual value of the prize, so we would still get our money’s worth and chances are, someone will outbid us”. After we were sufficiently bored, we decided to leave. It was before the auction ended.
We have both been a ball of nerves ever since. We haven’t yet received a call saying we won something, but I’m hoping we don’t. I don’t really want to play a day of golf followed by a dinner with wine-pairing. The only things I find entertaining about golf are the ridiculous outfits, golf carts stuck in sand traps, and people who golf clap. I also don’t really want to schlep to the Brazil vs. Argentina soccer game (but honestly, that might be a little cool since my grandfather played for Argentina back in the day). And the last ridiculous thing we bid WAY too much money for… Wait for it… Santa coming to our house on the back of a firetruck. What the fuck were we thinking?
First of all, our kid is obsessed with Santa. She talked about him today – its friggin’ May! How could we ever top that again (if it doesn’t scare the crap out of her in the first place)? And let’s just talk about why Santa is on a firetruck. Who came up with that tradition? Couldn’t anyone find a horse drawn carriage around here? Is this like a Smokey the bear thing? Are they trying to send a fire safety message with a Christmas flair? “Ho Ho Ho! Put out the fire if you want a toy or a maze. So you don’t set Santa’s big ass ablaze!”. Got it, thanks Santa. Safety first!
So you see why we are on pins and needles waiting to see if we lost… I mean, won anything. I should have put our name down for the plastic surgery stuff. Now that would have actually come in handy.

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