The Skin I’m In

There hasn’t been a stretch of longer than 3 months in the past three and a half years that I’ve had my body feel like it was my own.  I’ve been either pregnant or breastfeeding.  It takes about 2 months for the breasts to stop producing milk completely once the baby has been weaned.  So I’ve enjoyed about a month of being comfortable in my body.  It feels nice and a bit unusual.  Until I have surgery, I’ll have the luxury of feeling this way. 
It’s amazing the time I wasted feeling bad about my body during adolescence and in my twenties.  It took having babies and realizing that I’m going to lose a part of my body to really embrace it fully.  A woman’s body is pretty amazing; that you can grow these beings inside of you and then they come out and you can feed them from the same life source.  It’s some trippy stuff (and I’m not the first to admit, at times, it felt sort of like an alien was in there).  I’m not one of those women who looked good pregnant or even felt good pregnant. 
Yesterday, I had a stomach bug and it felt a bit like the nausea from when I was pregnant. Thank God for my mother and my mother-in-law who came to watch the girls and bring me chicken soup. I was reminded that I am so not ready to be pregnant again yet. I really don’t enjoy that part of the process, but I do love the end result of the cuddly baby in my arms.
While I do not have the perfect body (and never have), there have always been things I like about it.  Trying to highlight those and disguise the others is every woman’s challenge.  I hope my daughters will feel secure in their skin and understand that you can feel good about your body no matter your shape or size.  I’ve had friends whose bodies are far from the model images you see in magazines, but they look and feel fabulous.  They dress well, accessorize amazingly, and walk with the confidence that everyone deserves to have.  How do I help my girls skip that awkward time in life when nothing feels right and you want to live in anyone else’s skin?  Is that just a mandatory rite of passage?  Do you have to go through that to come out on the other side a secure, confident woman?  Or do you have to go through some life changing scenario to feel it?  Childbirth?  Double mastectomy?  Extreme Makeover? 
Everyone has some obstacle to overcome with their body at some time or another. I know I have several hurdles left to jump, but for now I’m going to enjoy this moment feeling comfortable in my skin.

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