Today is my dad’s birthday.  He is 65 years young and has a lot to show for it.  It was evident last night as all of his kids and grandkids gathered to celebrate with him.  My mom coordinated a delicious dinner and had us all dress in purple, his favorite color.  It was so much fun to see all the little cousins playing together and to enjoy the banter of my siblings and their spouses (minus one who was missed, but for good reason). 
Although it was a night to honor my dad and his milestone birthday, my parents made a toast to my sister and me in regards to how we are handling our decisions to have double mastectomies.  I added “and for blazing the trail” to my sister.  It cannot be easy for her to be the one that has to go through all of this without knowing what she can expect to face.  That being said, she looks fantastic, is so positive and optimistic and is a true inspiration.  It has been five weeks since her surgery and she is feeling great, has started her physical therapy and could even lift and bounce my 20 pound baby.  If you didn’t know what she had been through, you wouldn’t be able to guess. 
It was such a joy to be around her and the rest of my family last night.  I was able to forget for a while that I have been awaiting results from a follow up ultrasound I had on Friday.  It has been weighing on me since the previous Friday when my doctor called to tell me that although my breast MRI results were normal, that they had found “spots” on my liver.  She said they looked like benign cysts, but I needed to have an ultrasound to determine if they were really benign and nothing to be concerned about.  My first thought was, “Great my boobs are normal and cancer-free, phew!”  My second thought was, “Ugh, if it’s not one thing, it’s a-fucking-nother.”
It’s been a week and a half since my breast surgeon told me about the liver issue.  I have been seriously disappointed with my primary care physician’s office for their awful follow through and response time. Apparently one of the reasons why I still don’t have a definitive answer as to what these spots are is because I never got the actual MRI images from my breast surgeon’s radiology department sent to the radiologists I used closer to home for this follow up.  Perhaps had I had both tests done at the same place, this would not have been an issue. Maybe if my PCP had told me that I was supposed to have these images sent ahead of time, I could have done that last week while I was waiting to have my appointment. 
According to my parents, the more tests you have, the more crap they find elsewhere.  So next time I have to do a follow up, I am going to have all my ducks in a row.  I will ask the PCP and the radiologist’s offices what information/images/reports they will need ahead of time in order to give me conclusive results as quickly as possible.  I would like to ask them what I can do to expedite the process so that I’m not waiting, seemingly forever, and feeling anxious about why they’re not calling me and subsequently annoying their staff as I call twice a day to ask for a response.  The last thing I have learned is that I should probably drink more alcohol.  I’m not a big drinker; alcohol was the easiest thing for me to give up while pregnant and I’m always the sober driver. But apparently during college, I didn’t learn to preserve my liver as well as my peers did. Go figure, I haven’t heard of any liver issues from my friends or loved ones (you know who you are) who have so diligently exercised theirs for years.

One thought on “Liver"worst"

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